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# I was thinking of you.
- URL: https://www.belonging.house/i-was-thinking-of-you/
- Published: 2025-04-18T10:01:39.000Z
- Updated: 2026-07-24T23:51:23.000Z
- Author: Christ John Otto
- Tags: Newsletter, #Migrated-1784937001272, #Import 2026-07-24 23:50

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI held in my arms  
the mother of a young man  
who was murdered on the streets of Boston.  
  
She screamed,  
and screamed,  
and screamed,  
and I held her and I let her.  
That was the right thing to do.  
  
The Bible doesn’t say Mary screamed.  
But John was there, and he held her.  
I am sure of it.  
It wasn’t like the holy cards and the plaster statues  
in the front of the church from my childhood.  
No,  
there was blood,  
no soft clouds,  
serene faces,  
and pastel robes.  
No.  
This was a grisly,  
horrible execution  
as the King of Kings  
**was enthroned upon the cross.**  
  
He took upon himself the entire weight  
of human brokenness,  
and became the perfect peace offering  
to restore our relationship to the Father.  
  
St. Augustine said  
that He would have done it for just one of us.  
The cross is the ultimate  
**expression of your value to God.**  
No man  
has greater love   
than to lay down his life for his friends.  
  
Jesus  
**wants to be your friend,**  
and you are his friend if you listen to his word and do it.  
  
It is really hard when you work with artists.  
You have to hear a lot of heartbreaking stories.  
We live in a culture  
that devalues the role of artists.  
  
And these creative people  
are the products of a school system  
that tells them we evolved from nothing  
for no apparent reason.  
  
A large portion of my work is helping others  
overcome the deep sense  
of worthlessness that they carry.  
This worthlessness is reinforced  
by every ad on the internet,  
television, and radio.  
It’s supported by movies,  
TV, and online media.  
  
And it says,  
“You just don’t measure up,  
and so you need to try harder.”  
  
Jesus says,  
"You matter.  
You matter to me.  
And if I was thinking of who  
would take care of my mother,  
in the most excruciating moment  
of my life,  
I was  
**thinking of you too.**  
I would have gone there to death and hell  
if there was no one else.  
You are worth everything to me.  
You don’t have to push your way to the front.  
You are a part of my family,  
we are in this together,  
and I am with you.  
I promise."  
  
And a spear  
pierced   
the  
sacred  
Heart of Jesus,  
and a sword  
pierced Mary’s heart.  
Blood and water  
and tears  
flowed.  
  
A new Family  
was born  
at the foot  
of the cross.  
One born by water  
and blood,  
by water and the Holy Spirit,  
and nourished by  
water,  
wine,  
and bread.  
  
You matter,   
and you are welcome at the Father's table.  
  
We adore you, O Christ  
*because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.*

*Belonging House International is a community of artists and creative people called to build Jesus a throne in the earth. In other words, we make disciples who will disciple the nations in the world of creativity.*

Christ John Otto writes long form essays at https://christjohnotto.substack.com

You can support us at buymeacoffee.com/christjohnotto

We have a community for those who have made the Belonging House Commitment on Mighty Network. https://belonging-house.mn.co